40 Days
Yesterday was the 40th day since my sister's death, we went to the cemetery at 3:00PM to end the novena and after that we went at home where there is a little "salo-salo"and attended the 5:30 mass which is offered for her by our auntie for 9 days.
Last Sunday, when we are about to have our breakfast...my sister saw this huge butterfly with a very nice wings and has a brown color with specks of white at the sides of it's wings in our kitchen, then I told her to touch it and she did and it did not fly...after a few minutes my mother touch and after that it transfer to another place and i touch it this time and it flew after...when we saw the butterfly we were crying
for we know that it was my sister visiting us.. A cousin also told us that it was the same butterfly that he usually see in my tito's house since my sister died, and another neighbor said that it was the same butterfly that landed on my tito's arm and stayed there for a while 
. When we went to mass that afternoon we also saw that same butterfly flying in the church, its as if she is following us. It's got to be her.
I still can't believe up to now that she is gone forever..It's like im still living in a bad dream and I feel like I am floating, going where the tides will take me...It still hurts so much, the wound is still so fresh as the day when she left us
...Whenever i think of her i still get misty eyed... I dread the coming days for I know she will never be here with us again. I don't know how to live life without her anymore 
. I still cry at night, most specially when i turn to my side and she is not there sleeping with me, sharing bed with me, no one to hug at night and talk till wee hours in the morning. I don't know when this agony will end though I long for the day that we can finally move on but for now it still seems a long road to track and still very far from possibility.
Last Sunday, when we are about to have our breakfast...my sister saw this huge butterfly with a very nice wings and has a brown color with specks of white at the sides of it's wings in our kitchen, then I told her to touch it and she did and it did not fly...after a few minutes my mother touch and after that it transfer to another place and i touch it this time and it flew after...when we saw the butterfly we were crying
for we know that it was my sister visiting us.. A cousin also told us that it was the same butterfly that he usually see in my tito's house since my sister died, and another neighbor said that it was the same butterfly that landed on my tito's arm and stayed there for a while . When we went to mass that afternoon we also saw that same butterfly flying in the church, its as if she is following us. It's got to be her. I still can't believe up to now that she is gone forever..It's like im still living in a bad dream and I feel like I am floating, going where the tides will take me...It still hurts so much, the wound is still so fresh as the day when she left us
...Whenever i think of her i still get misty eyed... I dread the coming days for I know she will never be here with us again. I don't know how to live life without her anymore . I still cry at night, most specially when i turn to my side and she is not there sleeping with me, sharing bed with me, no one to hug at night and talk till wee hours in the morning. I don't know when this agony will end though I long for the day that we can finally move on but for now it still seems a long road to track and still very far from possibility.
2 comments:
my condolences to you and your family. indeed, it's hard to lose a person you love so much. i understand your feelings because like you, i'm also in a period of bereavement now. my eight months old son died last april 21 and up to now the pain seemed to be unbearable. i guess our loved ones die and we weep and it's the natural thing to do. but then, we can't help thinking, why our loved one? but now, instead of asking 'why' it's happened to me, I have started to ask myself 'how' to pick up the pieces of my life after this....btw, you write with feelings..you're a talented writer :)
thanks.:)..My sincerest condolences to you and your wife also..Yes, it is very hard to lose someone who has been a part of us it's like a part of us has also died when they died...The day ur son died was also the last day my sister was so full of life and very happy b4 that fateful incident.As they say life is full of losses but despite what happened to us we should still be optimistic that everything will be alright in His time.God Bless.:)
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