Wednesday, July 26, 2006

thinking of you

Think Of Laura


Every once in a while I'd see her smile
And she'd turn my day around
A girl with those eyes
Could stare through the lies
And see what your heart was saying

Think of Laura but laugh don't cry
I know she'd want it that way
When you think of Laura laugh don't cry
I know she'd want it that way


A friend of a friend
A friend to the end
That's the kind of girl she was
Taken away so young
Taken away without a warning


I know you and you're here
In every day we live
I know her and she's here
I can feel her when I sing


Hey Laura, where are you now
Are you far away from here
I don't think so
I think you're here
Taking our tears away

While listening to the radio suddenly this song was played though i know that song already but this was the first time i heard it since my sister passed away..it was one of our favorites of Christopher Cross songs together with sailing...The lyrics struck me and while humming along the song I can't stop my tears from falling no matter how hard i try to suppress it..It's been a few months but my heart is still bleeding. I am aching deep inside, longing to see her again and cuddle her and do all over the foolish things we used to do but that would be far from possible now..Lord, I need your strength to be able to walk through life again.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


butterfly kiss

Have you ever been kissed by a butterfly? I was...just last Saturday . Eversince my sister's death I have been asking for a sign to reassure me that she is happy, and I was given not once but twice. On the first sign i was doubtful and told myself that it was just a pure coincidence , it happened when me and my cousins watched a movie for the first time since my sister's death, it was MI2 since we were not able to start we waited and there were trailers shown and I kept thinking and asking for a sign and that would be to see a butterfly in the trailer or the movie itself and if i'll see it means she is happy. There were several trailers and there wasn't a single butterfly and on the last one...it wasn't even a trailer of a movie or an ad, i don't know what it was but it features lots of butterflies and the camera focused on that one butterfly which has a black color with specks of yellow the color that I have envisioned and I know that was it but i was not fully convinced... not until last saturday while going home from school I saw lots of butterfly but what caught my attention was that one particular butterfly that has a black and specks of yellow color and as I was walking towards its way it was flying and when I was near it flew right b4 me and gave me a peck as if it kissed me on the upper part of my lip, a sign that I have been asking for months .. that a butterfly would land on any part of my face as if it kisses me and the Lord gave it and it happened unexpectedly. Now I am fully convinced that my sister is indeed happy.

Everytime we or her friends dream of her she is always smiling, the same happy disposition she had when she was alive. When her twin dreamed of her for the very first time on the afternoon while she was having a nap and that was her 2nd month death anniversary she let her twin hold her hand and what makes me cry was when they were about to separate, my sister who died cried...I know she is happy to where she is going but at the same is having hard time leaving us for we still can't let her go for we haven't fully accepted her death specially my mother . She haven't visited my mother in her dreams even for just once and i know she has a reason because if she will, mama will miss her even more and maybe that's why she told my sister in her dreams
"Lot, c mama ha". She was asking her twin to take care of mama for it was her who told my mother that she will be the one who will take care of her when she grows old and even if she is working outside the country, she will come home just to take care of our mother. That's how much she loves our mother . And in my dream, I was touching her face and I told her that "just be happy, and we will be very happy for you", she smiled . We are still slowly learning the art of letting go, it won't be easy but somehow I know we can do it... for ourselves and for my sister. Time will come that we can let her go but she will never be forgotten, her memory will forever live in our hearts.