(¯`·.¸¸.->This Gurl's Life <-.¸¸.·¯)

Day 3: A photo of you taken over 10 years ago

2012-01-25T13:38:00.008+08:00

To be honest, I am not sure if this photo was taken 10 or 5 years ago. I still have to search from my old photographs, so I opted to post this photo from a not so distant past. A good friend of mine took this photo.

Day 2: 20 of my favorite things

2012-01-23T14:36:00.006+08:00

1. Travelling new and interesting places

2. My dogs - who can ever resist those puppy eyes staring lovingly at you.

3. my BDJ Planner - keeps me organized and it has those girly touches.

4. a warm cup of coffee

5. books

6. beach bumming

7. Butterfly or anything butterfly

8. my Dad's bottle of perfume - it has a sentimental value to me and reminds me of the good days with him.

9. my late sister's rosary - this is my constant reminder that she will always be around for me

10. spending quality time with my family and friends - nothing in the world could ever beat a time well spent

11. my netbook

12. old photographs - reminds me of those sweet and innocent days

13. good music - my Dad was my greatest influence for this passion

14. my friends - they add color to my life

15. window shopping - it's a girls favorite pastime

16. bags and shoes

17. my US and local license - the fruit of my hard work and struggle

18. pearls

19. cellphone - connecting people

20. dining out

2012-01-23T09:57:00.015+08:00

Day 1: A photo that makes you smile

So now officially begins my 30 day challenge with Franc.

Photos of my family never fails to put a smile on my lips. The memories are bittersweet. It reminded me of the days when life was still simple and blissful. The endless chitchats during dinner, beach bumming, fashion experimenting with my sisters, and most of all the love and constant support we shared with each other. My family is my priceless possession.

I miss my dad and my sister so much. No amount of words can ever describe my feeling of longingness for them. Life will never be the same without them again, but my life doesn't end there. It has been a difficult journey, but now I am slowly picking up the pieces of my life. I have to live my new normal life now, "A life without my dad and sister". For now, I take comfort with the fact that someday we will be reunited again... but not in this phase of life definitely.

Enchanting El Nido

2011-04-26T01:07:00.035+08:00

Palawan was just then a dream destination but last March 10, the dream became a reality. I have been longing to visit this place so when the opportunity came, without second thoughts I grabbed the offer. We booked our ticket early January since Cebu Pacific was having a sale for Puerto Princesa (thanks for promo fare, they made travelling easy and affordable). The initial plan was just to tour around Puerto Princesa but luck was on our side, we were able to get a very good deal for El Nido. So, off we go to El Nido.

We left Cebu on March 10 for Palawan and we arrived before 12 noon at Puerto Princesa. There we meet with our tour guide and we started our 6 hours travel to El Nido but since the driver drives so fast and is well adept with the long, winding road to El Nido we made it only in 4 hours. We arrived at 4:30 in the afternoon in El Nido. We stayed at Hadefe, which is a few minutes walk from the main road. We took a shower, watch our 1st sunset in El Nido and off we go to tour the town and look for a place where we can eat dinner. We went to the town plaza and had dinner in one of the grills there. The plaza was so colorful and bursting with activity since it’s just a few days before the town fiesta which happens to be on the 16th of March. After dinner, we took a stroll along the seashore and had some drinks at Seaslugs where a live band is performing. After that we headed back to our cottage and called the day off so as to prepare for the tomorrow's activities. It’s gonna be a long, exciting and fun-filled day ahead.

DAY 1
Small Lagoon
This was our first stop for the tour. The place has a small opening for the entrance so the boat cannot enter, its either you swim or kayak, we chose the latter. I was in awe when we are inside the small lagoon, the karst formation is awesome and the place is so serene. There were lots of tourist inside.

entrance to small lagoon

the pristine waters inside small lagoon

Big Lagoon
We just pass by big lagoon and the place is perfect for picture backdrop.

the Big Lagoon behind us

Secret Lagoon

inside secret lagoon

? Beach
This is were we had lunch. while waiting for our lunch to be served we spent our time swimming and enjoying the pristine waters of El Nido. Lunch consist of freshly grilled fish and squid , cucumber salad and fruits. Perfect ambiance paired with yummy food, feels so heavenly.

our yummy lunch

7 Commando Beach
Our last stop for the day. We had fresh buko juice here sold for 30 pesos a piece.

A view of 7 Commando Beach fresh buko juice at 7 Commando

DAY 2

Despite the tsunami that has just happened in Japan, this did not dampen our spirit to continue our island hoppping tour.

Matinloc Shrine

breathtaking view from the top

Talisay Beach

Im not quite sure if this is the name of this beach but as far as I remember this is the name our guide told us. We had lunch here.

having fun swimming while waiting for our food

Secret Beach

My favorite spot of all. Legend says that this beach inspired Alex Garland's novel "The Beach", which was written during his stay in El Nido. It is only accessible through a n arrow crevice in a rock wall and one must swim underwater to get inside. I had second thoughts going inside since its kinda risky, you have to be very careful in entering the narrow opening despite the waves without bumping into the walls of sharp rocks but Kuya Emil, our guide assured me that its all worth the risk. So, i took the risk and was in awe, it was like paradise right before my very eyes.

having a dip at Secret Beach's clear water

Snake Island

Is named as such since the sandbar resembles the shape of a snake. The S-shaped sandbar is visible when the tide is low and is best viewed atop.

the long stretch of sandbar can be viewed from the top

Cudugnon Cave

This cave is only accessible only through a small opening that will lead you to a narrow empty space in the middle. I did not went inside since when I peek its all rocks...hehhee...This cave is known to be the burial site during the Neolithic Period. There’s a part of the cave thats off limit for safety reason since the rock were steep and sharp, this is where part of the remains of our ancestors lie. Beside the Cudugnon cave is a house, its the only house ive seen in the island and when we arrive we were greeted by the friendly dogs and since i did not went inside i just enjoy the sight of the beach and watching the 2 dogs playing, so carefree and free since they have the place all for themselves.

the small entrance of Cudugnon cave

inside Cudugnon cave

We spent our last night in El Nido roaming around the town looking for some souvenir shop, we also went to the town plaza to watch some performances that was held, and we had dinner at this restaurant which i forgot the name, but the food was fantastic and the serving was a plus. It was beyond our expectation. After dinner we hang at Sea Slugs for some cool music and to enjoy the cool balmy air and the sound of the waves as well.

Words are not enough to describe the magnificence of El Nido, its like a piece of heaven on earth for me. This is probably one of the best vacation i ever had. Great company, perfect destination..there's nothing more that I can ask for.

2011-04-20T04:06:00.000+08:00

CHANGE

2011-01-11T00:32:00.004+08:00

Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But here's the truth...the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is..

Change it is. I'm always open for change and sometimes i respond or adapt to it well. They say new year, new life. And just right at the start of the year I really did experience a big change. A change that i resisted but left with no choice at all, a change that i have shed a tear and has left me filled with disappointment, confusion, and hurt. Maybe this is the sign that i have been asking for so long, that somewhere out there, there's something that awaits me and i just tend to oversee those things. It won't be easy from the start, I know and I might have to give up some things that I am used to which will be the hardest part but i have to do it soon..I have to prove to myself that I am worth more than what I am doing right now. I may sound bitter, and i won't deny it that I am.

As the famous line says.. change is the only constant thing in this world.

Ramblings....

2010-12-01T14:00:00.005+08:00

Christmas is just a few days away. So, so excited for the holiday season, will be spending it with my whole family and i want it to be really special this year. I don't know the reason for getting all giddy and excited this christmas but one thing is for sure, it will be a very memorable one. After I lost my sister, i vow not to celebrate christmas anymore, but overtime things change, wounds heal, and life begins anew. I'm still thankful that for once in my life's journey I have spend most of it with my sister through the good and the bad times . I want to start my new year right, lots of plan in my head.

Considering change of career, giving up something and hoping i won't be regretting my decisions, after all I have my family to support me and to push me to go on and reach the peak...but im optimistic with perseverance, everything (all plans) will materialize and life will be way, way better.

Another thing to get excited also is my planned trips to Bohol and Davao (hopefully) on March and Camiguin-CDO on july. Can't wait to see the beaches and bum around, white water rafting, zipline, etc...for sure i will really be enjoying this...i'm a sucker for travelling...if only i can afford to travel every month and also travel internationally...i would love tooo....

Boracay Baby

2010-11-10T13:44:00.006+08:00

Finally, i've been to the place that i have long dreamed of going...Boracay it is. Beach, nature, food, fun, night life...its all there. A place where you can totally relax and have fun at the same time. The beach was not so clean at that time we were there but still I enjoyed swimming and bumming around. The place is very captivating and relaxing. Boracay has the perfect sunset. We stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights but it was not enough. I wanna go back and spend a whole week there. Someday I will, but I still have a lot of travel itineraries in my mind so one place at a time, can't afford to keep on travelling, it's financially exhausting.

weeebeee.......

2010-11-04T14:47:00.003+08:00

It's good to be back in the blogging world... Oh, i miss u so my dear blog. It's been quite a while. A long, long year. A lot has happened and changed, and life has been quite better. Been to a few places, achieve some with regards to my career but not the one that i have waited for so long (i still need to work on it..Double Time!), faced new challenges in life and made decisions that really matters although not everyone was happy but then that's life you cannot please everybody but what really matters is that I have my family's support and approval and I am proud to say I don't have any regrets at all, its been a wise decision after all...

Pain in my heart

2006-09-07T11:06:00.001+08:00

Pain In My Heart
Second Wind

Here I am alone in this empty room
And let my mind just fly you to the end
Toughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair
I could still recall
Those memories of you
The joy and all the laughter
The love that we've been through
Oh, I can't believe you're gone
Oh, no

Talkin' to myself for no reasons I could find
Findin' out why everything went wrong
Tears falling down my cheeks
That I've been trying to hold
It doesn't know if I could still go on
I wanted you to stay
The tears begin to show
You said you cared for me
But then you had to go
And now I know you're gone

Chorus:
But I don't want to remember
The things we used to do
And all the things that remind me of you
I don't want to hear the songs
The songs we used to sing
because I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

I just can't believe you're gone

Chorus:
But I don't want to remember
The things that we've been through
And all the things that remind me of you
I don't want to hear the songs
The songs we used to sing
because I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

Coda:
I don't wanna feel
Yeah, I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart
I don't wanna feel, don't know what went wrong
Ohh

The dj said that to heal the pain in our heart is through prayers, coz it can do wonders and crying can help in easing it up..We love singing so much and there are lots of songs that reminds me of her but i don't wanna cry anymore. I like this part of the song:

But I don't want to remember
The things that we've been through
And all the things that remind me of you

I don't want to hear the songs

The songs we used to sing

because I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart.

Girl Power

2006-09-06T14:28:00.000+08:00

My very good friend sent me this email and i was really amused and have to agree with most of the stuffs here .....who say's girls are the weaker sex? we may be weak in terms of physical things but personality wise we're stonger and wiser but anyways what matter is that we are all created equal and unique from each other...

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HE . .BREWS"

God may have created man before woman,

but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

So what do u think??? any reactions out there?

what's normal now...

2006-09-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

What's normal now:
seeing my mom crying whenever she is left alone at home
going to the cemetery during sundays after my duty
sleeping in my bed with an empty space beside me
crying whenever i look at my sister's dress in her closet
having to put a brave front when i'm with my mother
learning to smile and put a happy facade fakely
a heart full of hate...hating life itself

When will this agony end???....when can i see the light? the promise of a new dawn? will i ever see it again?

2006-08-30T12:59:00.002+08:00

I dreamt of my sister the other night, it was her 4th month death anniversary. Was it her way of visiting me? And now i feel as if a cold wind is enveloping me, eventhough there is no air coming from the electric fan, is it her? Is she embracing me at this very moment and assuring me that everything is alright?

Sometimes I can't understand myself, I always tell to myself, to trust everything to the Lord and never lose faith in Him for He knows what He is doing and this is just one of the trials He has given us to make us a better person, but at the corner of my mind my faith is slowly crumbling, it was shattered to several tiny pieces that I have a hard time picking it all up and I would be a hypocrite if i will say that my faith is still intact after everything that has happened. My foundation of faith was not that really strong, contrary to what I have always believed before. I ask the same questions over and over again to myself....but still I haven't found even one answer to my gazillions of questions. It still doesn't make sense yet. I know it is still too premature but my heart and my mind is restless and tired. My desperation to hold and see my sister again becomes more intense with each passing day .

For now, another day without her feels so empty and senseless. My life now is very different, it took a sudden major twist. My life, my views has changed. I live for the moment now and though I still plan for the future I don't anticipate it with much enthusiasm as it was before... when life was still good. I go wherever the winds of time will take me. "Que sera, sera...whatever will be, will be" as how a famous song line goes. It's useless to dream now...when someone who shares my dreams is not with me to partake with my success. We were halfway to fulfillment when she suddenly left us....how can i go on??? now that I have broken a wing . How can I soar high to reach the peak with a broken wing? I don't know, but deep inside me I know she will always be around to support and guide us to make it through, to be able to continue to fulfill the dreams that we have built. From the start and till the end, she has always been happy and silently proud for all the achievements me and my other sister have made and the same way we are to her.

You will always live on for us my little sister, you may not be given the chance to be a nurse and serve the people here on earth but I know there's a special place for you to practice your profession. Somehow, someday when we meet, we can live for our dreams again but not in these phase of life. I know someday there will be more nights wherein I can sleep without soaking my pillow with tears ..... that special lavender pillow you chose for me last christmas .

2006-07-31T10:51:00.000+08:00

insensitive

Why can some people be so nasty, tactless and inconsiderate of the feelings of others??? I just dont understand them..palihug ko og explain!!!!

Well, it's like this...early in the morning my sister talked to me about the incident that happened the day before and she was holding her emotions as she was relaying what happened .. She was called by my tito coz there was a party and some of my tito's classmates was there and there was this lady with a foreigner companion and maybe they were talking about my other sister's death and since my sister was there she was called by my tito and was intorduced as the twin and so there the bitchy lady asked her why we did not give our consent to have an autopsy and commented that maybe with more prodding me and my sister's decision will be bent and eventually allow to have an autopsy but will be having a hard time on convincing my parents...with the snide comment saying "maybe they're hiding something"....!!! my sister stared at her and said nothing at all but cried when she was all alone and lost the appetite to eat...How dare her say like that? It just equates with saying that my parents are irresponsible and we are doing something and that my parent's are concealing what they know...She don't have the right!!! it's foul! ...she doesn't know us and worst she haven't even meet my sister and besides my sister is not that stupid enough not to know the consequence of taking drugs and combining it with alcohol and the drug test yields negative result though only methamphetamine will be detected.

We never consented to an autopsy though we know there are lots of controversy hounding the cause of her death and as much as we would want to know the real cause we wanted to spare her from anymore pain though we know she can't feel the pain anymore but for us she had suffered enough already and that's enough and we know not everyone will understand our decision,they never will because they are haven't been in our situation and it doesn't matter to us. She is at peace now and happy wherever she is, lets just leave it that way....is that so hard to do?

The wound is still so fresh and its still bleeding and we are still suffering from the excruciating pain it brought us and the last thing we needed was that stupid, tactless remark .If only i was there I could have defended my late sister, no matter if she will tell me i don't have respect for the elders...She did not respect us and more my parents so she don't deserve to be respected also...respect begets respect...and for me "All is Fair in Love and War"....I hate her to death . My parent's didn't know this and we don'y have any plans of teeling them we dont want that stupid remark to add to their pain, it's not worth it .

2006-07-26T11:56:00.000+08:00

thinking of you

Think Of Laura

Every once in a while I'd see her smile
And she'd turn my day around
A girl with those eyes
Could stare through the lies
And see what your heart was saying

Think of Laura but laugh don't cry
I know she'd want it that way
When you think of Laura laugh don't cry
I know she'd want it that way

A friend of a friend
A friend to the end
That's the kind of girl she was
Taken away so young
Taken away without a warning

I know you and you're here
In every day we live
I know her and she's here
I can feel her when I sing

Hey Laura, where are you now
Are you far away from here
I don't think so
I think you're here
Taking our tears away

While listening to the radio suddenly this song was played though i know that song already but this was the first time i heard it since my sister passed away..it was one of our favorites of Christopher Cross songs together with sailing...The lyrics struck me and while humming along the song I can't stop my tears from falling no matter how hard i try to suppress it..It's been a few months but my heart is still bleeding. I am aching deep inside, longing to see her again and cuddle her and do all over the foolish things we used to do but that would be far from possible now..Lord, I need your strength to be able to walk through life again.

2006-07-17T16:49:00.000+08:00

I messed my prelim test last Saturday! I really hate it. I wasn't able to finish studying the night before coz i was so sleepy na and besides i wasn't able to start studying earlier bcoz my friend was there and we had this chika-chika pa..sometimes i'm tired of listening na with her and so are the other people in the house . I can't divulge the reason in here coz its confidential. The test was so exhausting..imagine 130 items??? toinnkkss...and for the parts that i wasn't able to study , I have to rely on stock knowledge...haayyy...I really have to double my effort this saturday for the midterm since the coverage is not so long.

The return demo last sunday will be one of my unforgettable experience in nursing....its enema..eeekkk...it's so gross, uncomfortable and very embarassing but for grade's sake we all have to do it and endure the whole procedure and i'm glad I was able to make it through..hehehe and it did paid, I got 90 for my laboratory grade .

2006-07-12T12:46:00.000+08:00

the heat is on...

I can feel the pressure of school now and I have never been busier like this before. So many things to do with so little time. Sometimes I don't have enough time to study anymore and much more do all the other things that I have been planning to get done. It's not that im complaining but it's kinda hard to juggle between work and study...or maybe I just need time to adjust and better yet learn how to develop proper time management...hehehe..coz despite the lack of time I still manage to squeeze in watching "My Girl", I'm hooked on it...Very funny and kakakilig...

I still anticipate going to school amidst all the mind boggling test that we have everyday ..It's like being transported back to good ol' college days and me and my friends are like those giggling college girls way back before . We never really outgrow being childish, eventhough as we age our perspective in life changes we still keep that immaturity within us and it's kinda good....feels soo good.

I'm still thankful that I have decided to study coz it keeps me pre-occupied and when I'm at school I enjoy the company of my friends and classmates...it diverts my attention and prevents me from sulking and wallowing up in grief over my sister's death. Although, there are still nights that I cry myself to sleep and its becoming more frequent the past few weeks...I miss her terribly .On the other hand me and my other sister become closer with each other than before, coz we only have each other to hold on to. I was closer to my late sister than my other sister and right now i'm still adjusting. I know God will see me through all these.

2006-07-04T12:17:00.000+08:00

butterfly kiss

Have you ever been kissed by a butterfly? I was...just last Saturday ....eversince my sister's death I have been asking for a sign to reassure me that she is happy, and I was given not once but twice. On the first sign i was doubtful and told myself that it was just a pure coincidence , it happened when me and my cousins watched a movie for the first time since my sister's death, it was MI2 since we were not able to start we waited and there were trailers shown and I kept thinking and asking for a sign and that would be to see a butterfly in the trailer or the movie itself and if i'll see it means she is happy. There were several trailers and there wasn't a single butterfly and on the last one...it wasn't even a trailer of a movie or an ad, i don't know what it was but it features lots of butterflies and the camera focused on that one butterfly which has a black color with specks of yellow the color that I have envisioned and I know that was it but i was not fully convinced... not until last saturday while going home from school I saw lots of butterfly but what caught my attention was that one particular butterfly that has a black and specks of yellow color and as I was walking towards its way it was flying and when I was near it flew right b4 me and gave me a peck as if it kissed me on the upper part of my lip, a sign that I have been asking for months .. that a butterfly would land on any part of my face as if it kisses me and the Lord gave it and it happened unexpectedly. Now I am fully convinced that my sister is indeed happy.

Everytime we or her friends dream of her she is always smiling, the same happy disposition she had when she was alive. When her twin dreamed of her for the very first time on the afternoon while she was having a nap and that was her 2nd month death anniversary she let her twin hold her hand and what makes me cry was when they were about to separate, my sister who died cried...I know she is happy to where she is going but at the same is having hard time leaving us for we still can't let her go for we haven't fully accepted her death specially my mother . She haven't visited my mother in her dreams even for just once and i know she has a reason because if she will, mama will miss her even more and maybe that's why she told my sister in her dreams "Lot, c mama ha". She was asking her twin to take care of mama for it was her who told my mother that she will be the one who will take care of her when she grows old and even if she is working outside the country, she will come home just to take care of our mother. That's how much she loves our mother . And in my dream, I was touching her face and I told her that "just be happy, and we will be very happy for you", she smiled . We are still slowly learning the art of letting go, it won't be easy but somehow I know we can do it... for ourselves and for my sister. Time will come that we can let her go but she will never be forgotten, her memory will forever live in our hearts.

2006-06-20T09:47:00.001+08:00

for you daddy...

June 18 is a special day to the first man in our life. The man that we look up to and idolize, the man who will stick it up with us no matter how many times we fall and when simply all the man we've loved left us . The one who pushes us to the limit so that in every thing we do we will give it our best shot and he silently watches us from behind with a proud face for all our success. Our source of strength when everything else fails. They are our guide to the road to success and virtue and it's no other than our father, papa, daddy, tatay.

"Happy Father's Day" to my dad and to all the father's out there . Daddy, thank you for everything and for molding me to become who I am today. A big part of our personality was influenced by you like our passion for music, appreciation for good food though i don't like cooking as much as u do which was namana ni Bukie coz she was the best cook among us 3, and for all the other things that are ur trademark which we have inherited. You are one of the biggest influence in my life and although there are times that we don't meet at the same wavelength i'm still thankful for having you in my life, you may not know it coz I was never the expressive type. You will always be the star that shines the brightest among the millions during the dark nights of my life. Despite the grief over my sister' s loss that we are all facing at these tumultuous moments of our lives u still manage to show to us a strong facade though i know deep inside ur heart is breaking, I should know coz I can see it in ur eyes...Someday daddy we will see the sun shining again....much brighter than it was before and everything will be alright.

On the other hand, I received another sad news from a good friend of mine. Her brother is suffering from lymphoma and has to undergo chemotheraphy for months. I just hope and pray that everything will be alright . And to my friend, never lose ur faith in God coz that's the only weapon that will sustain us in our most difficult moments in our life, there is still hope and even if it may seem to be so thin hold on to that. Everything happens for a reason.

School has officially began...yesterday we started our lesson officially which tackles on the needs of human which are biological, psycho-social, spiritual, and cultural needs and during the discussion we have also discussed the nurse's approach towards the patient. A nurse must be efficient enough and must have good interaction with the patients so that the patients will be at ease and thus lessens the fear and pain he/ she is undergoing at the moment and most of all the nurse must handle the patient with utmost care and respect, which is very essential for all nurses because they are dealing with human lives here. The passion and dedication for this work is really needed because being a nurse with deal with different people with different personalities, so the approach varies for each patient. It is in here also that ur patience will be put to a test...but no matter how great the responsibilities and the challenges of being a nurse, I still wanted to be one.

2006-06-14T13:39:00.000+08:00

a new journey

School days are here and im back to being a student again for the third time. Classes has just began yesterday..back to memorizing all those medical terminologies again . Going to nursing school this year was not in plan, it was supposed to be next year but because of what happened my life took a U-turn, a lot of things has changed which are beyond my control.And besides I need to make myself busy so that my attention will be diverted instead of wallowing myself in grief which I know my sister wouldn't like for sure. Maybe to be a nurse someday is really my calling coz there have been a lot of missed oppurtunities that has come my way but still it persists to come back and this time I did not let it slip away anymore.

Last weekend my other sister and I redecorated our room, it was the first time that we have done it since our youngest died but her clothes were still there kept the way she left it and all her other things. It was a long weekend so we made the most of it for we will be busy the coming days with school. Last Monday was Independence Day and of course a holiday, my cuzns treated me and my sister coz they said they already missed going out with us . We went to MB's Tavern in Lapu-lapu, the food was superb (spag, pizza, chicken, etc.) and we really had a blast there .

Sometimes I feel guilty going to places that my late sister used to go and doing things that we used to enjoy before , the thought that if only she was alive she would have enjoyed this also and our happiness will be complete. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of her. I still am grieving and i guess my grieving will never stop but then we have to go on with life, to continue living and doing the most with our remaining days. Accdg. to Dr. Bill Webster "We must never minimize the pain and the difficulty of grief, we need to hold on to hope that someday the pain will subside, and life will have meaning again." Yes someday the pain will subside but the scar will always be the constant reminder of the pain and it will never be erased no matter how long. The road to recovery seems so long but with little steps each day we can reach it somehow, someday and everything will be alright in His perfect time .

2006-06-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

40 Days

Yesterday was the 40th day since my sister's death, we went to the cemetery at 3:00PM to end the novena and after that we went at home where there is a little "salo-salo"and attended the 5:30 mass which is offered for her by our auntie for 9 days.

Last Sunday, when we are about to have our breakfast...my sister saw this huge butterfly with a very nice wings and has a brown color with specks of white at the sides of it's wings in our kitchen, then I told her to touch it and she did and it did not fly...after a few minutes my mother touch and after that it transfer to another place and i touch it this time and it flew after...when we saw the butterfly we were crying for we know that it was my sister visiting us.. A cousin also told us that it was the same butterfly that he usually see in my tito's house since my sister died, and another neighbor said that it was the same butterfly that landed on my tito's arm and stayed there for a while . When we went to mass that afternoon we also saw that same butterfly flying in the church, its as if she is following us. It's got to be her.

I still can't believe up to now that she is gone forever..It's like im still living in a bad dream and I feel like I am floating, going where the tides will take me...It still hurts so much, the wound is still so fresh as the day when she left us ...Whenever i think of her i still get misty eyed... I dread the coming days for I know she will never be here with us again. I don't know how to live life without her anymore . I still cry at night, most specially when i turn to my side and she is not there sleeping with me, sharing bed with me, no one to hug at night and talk till wee hours in the morning. I don't know when this agony will end though I long for the day that we can finally move on but for now it still seems a long road to track and still very far from possibility.

2006-05-29T10:32:00.000+08:00

murmurs of the heart

Yesterday marks the 1st month death anniversary of my sister...I couldn't believe how time flies so fast. We went to the cemetery in the afternoon to offer prayers and flowers, the flowers that I had promised her. No more tears this time unlike the previous visit. I'm just happy to be there for I know she is just beside me all the time.

Here's a letter for my dearest sister:

Dear Bukie,

I never expected that we would part that way... so abrupt and very much unexpected, no goodbyes and everything..That fateful day will be forever etched in my memory . I know that u did not expect that to happen also and that u were fighting all the way for us. That sunday afternoon when you suffered a series of cardiac arrest and all the doctors were around u trying to revive while we are just at the window of your icu room peering, crying and helpless...I thought u were going to give up but u still fought and u were revived. I'll never forget our conversations inside ur room coz everytime i go there i still have to muster some courage so that i will not cry when i talk to you for i know u are drawing ur strength and hope from us but it pains me so much to see those tears trickling down ur cheeks thats why sometimes i'm always in a hurry during those talks coz i might break down and the more tears will fall from u coz u'll be aware of our pain. You never gave up until we let go of u (Me, Mama, Marilou, Dodong and some of our cousins) eventhough you're deteriorating and it pains us so much to see u with all those tubes inserted to you and the ordeal that u undergo with all those needles injected to you. I know u are always a fighter and have been until the end.

During those times when u are still in the hospital a lot of what if's and if only have been flooding my mind, our minds.....If only we can share with your pain so that it will be somewhat easier for u we would do, if only i can offer a part of my life for you, I would gladly do so. I tried to bargain with the Lord for ur survival not minding if u will be in a "vegetable state", just to see u living and still be with us would be the greatest miracle i could have ever received and I wouldn't mind devoting my whole life serving you and foregoing of my ambitions but eventually i lifted everything up to him..As i told him "Lord thy will be done" but deep inside me it's screaming I wanted my will to be done but who am I to argue with the Lord? For I know that He has a much better plan for you, much much better...for He holds the master plan...so who am I to question the Lord with whywhywhy which is bombarding my mind.

It's getting harder each day having to live life without you...i'm longing for you more and more each passing time. I still couldn't believe that you're gone forever but eventhough I couldn't see you and hold u, u still live in my heart and no one can ever replace the place u occupied...my love for you will never cease and it will be that way forever. I'll still continue to live with the dreams and goals that we have shared and the happy memories that we have made together, I know that u still sleep beside me at night thats why I still put ur pillows beside me and it will be always that way (coz u always sleep beside me eversince). I know u are at peace now wherever u are at this very moment coz u never gave us any sign that u are unhappy. I may not yet understand on why God allow this to happen to us but i know deep inside my heart that there will come a time when all these will make sense and we will be enlighten and that will be in God's perfect time. But for nowI know u are happy together with our creator, enjoying perpetual bliss that can never be found here on Earth...

Bukie, I know u will always be around for us and that u are watching over us as we battle on our day to day struggle, sharing together on our happiness and most of all u will be our angel that will forever guide us till our last day in these life. Your love will continue to shine on us from heaven. I love u soo much and don't worry someday we will be able to smile again the way it was before , the pain in our eyes will slowly fade away and the tears that will fall will be tears of joy already and not tears of sorrow anymore but amidst all those u will never be forgotten and I know u want it that way. Time will come that we can move on and slowly we will pick up the pieces of our life that crumbled when u left us but as we move each step at a time, u will be there moving on with us and for every dreams we fulfill and ambitions achieved, it will be all for you..For all the triumphs that will come in our life it will all be for you...specially dedicated for you, my Angel ......Till then.

Love,
Ate

P.S. here's the last song that ur twin Marilou has requested for you...It's ur favorite and we always sing this together when there's videoke at home...

I'll Be Over You
by Toto

Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people's destiny
Passes by
There are no guarantees
There are no alibis
That's how our love must be
Don't ask why

Bridge:
It takes some time
God knows how long
I know that I can forget you
As soon as my heart stops breakin'
Anticipating
As soon as forever is through
I'll be over you

Remembering times gone by
Promises we once made
What are the reasons why
Nothing stays the same

Bridge:
There were the nights holding you close
Someday I'll try to forget them
Someday I'll be over you

2006-05-24T15:58:00.000+08:00

End of Life

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name.

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used to.

Put no difference into your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you at an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well.

Death comes like a thief in the night...no one knows when it will take you. We always say that its the end of our suffering and the beginning of our eternal life, a life as they say that is free of pain and full of bliss ans that everyone sooner or later is headed towards there but no matter how many soothing words will be told to you it can never erase the pain of losing a love one...Never in my wildest dream that I've thought that I would have to deal with it so soon, much more it would be our youngest sister. Who would have thought it would be her when she is so full of life, ambitions, and a promising future ahead of her....and in a snap of a finger it was all gone....gone....gone.

There are times that all i want to do is sleep so that i can forget everything but the moment I open my eyes tears will start falling on itself...Every morning i wake up, it's another day living without my sister...God I miss my sister so much, her laughter, the crazy things we do together and all the other things that is really her...

I wonder where she is right now? Is she just right beside me watching over? I have so many questions that is still unanswered right now but I am to tired too search for those answers... both my heart and my mind is so exhausted...Life can be so unfair sometimes and I know everything happens for a reason and for now I know I'll never understand the reason whatever it is. Life must go on for us but it will never ever be the same again...I wonder when we'll ever see each other again....but definitely it will not be in this world..Till we meet again my dear little sister.... Now I fear death no more.

2006-03-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

Why Can't It Be

Why Cant It Be by Rannie Raymundo

You came along, unexpectedly
I was doing fine in my little world
Oh baby please don't get me wrong
'Cause I'm not complaining
But you see, you got my mind spinning

REFRAIN:
Why can't it be
Why can't it be the two of us
Why can't we be lovers
Only friends
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
Or was it me

Baby I dream of you every minute
You're in my dreams
You're always in it
That's the only place I know
Where you could be mine
And I'm yours but only
Till I wake up

REFRAIN:
Why can't it be
Why can't it be the two of us
Why can't we be lovers
Only friends
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
Or was it me

Fits just right, why can't it be??? when i've already found the one whom i have searched for quite so long but still circumstances won't allow us to be happy with each other...God I am so confused at this very moment...Should i go on or end it as early as it is so it wont be that hard for both of us since we haven't have much emotional investment yet..

Im having a hard time letting him go...as the saying goes..."My heart says yes but my mind says no" applies to me at these very moment...I wanna take the risk with him but still i have doubts and not so sure on my decision...please Lord enlighten my mind..help me in these turbulent time of my luvlife...

2006-03-02T00:02:00.000+08:00

My Handwriting Personality Quiz: The results of your analysis say:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

2006-01-31T21:05:00.000+08:00

26 years of existence: Last January 27 and that is Friday I celebrated my 26 birthday but prior to that schedule was very hectic with lots of events...to recall, the Sunday b4 that was my uncle and cuzn in laws b-day celebration...my cuzn and her hubby came from guam and hawaii where they are practincing theri medical profession...and obkors the pasalubong was very nice..a kikay kit..hhehehe...a lancome make-up pouch with bi-facil eye makeup remover, lancome definicil mascara which i love sooo much coz it volumizes my lash and makes me wanna flutter my eyelashes all the time...hehehe, another also is the lancome eyeshadow which is in earth colors and lastly the etc lipgosses which I haven't had used pa until now coz i still have my EB Lipstick and Careline lipgloss...my sister aslo gave me her lancome lipstick in merlot...And another auntie of mine arrive also from US and she gave me some moolahh....hehhe...

And on the day of my b-day I just celebrated it at home with some friends and relatives..I did not report to work at this day coz i was having a diarrhea...I prepare some foods and lots of booze courtesy of my cuzn..I woke up early that day though i slept late coz we went pa to ratsky the night before...The gifts I receive are: a red UCOB bag from Manang Flor (mom of my tutorial student Siobe), a big doogie stuff toy which i call the mini version of twinkle from Lam-lam and she also gave me a cake and the tequila, and a praise and worship cd by australian hillsong from happy and riza...

I was soo happy on my b-day coz i have reconciled with some of my cuzn's whom i have conflict with b4 and not in good terms ...everything is running smoothly in my life and i have learned also a very valuable lesson thru this and it awakens me to a lot of things which i am aware of but i try to suppress it and shut it out of my life....

After the eating is the drinking....hehehe....drinking to the max till the wee hours...and everyone was drunk..may gani wala ko ni palabi og inom...hehehe..

2006-01-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

Getting Personal and Intimate: 1.are u serious when it comes to
relationships?
yeah..i want to give my best shot on it

2. are you afraid of commitments?
sort of....i still feel i am immature and i value my indepence so much, maybe these are some of the few reasons

3. are u a risk taker?
yeah

4. what can u say abt. long distance
relationships?
it works if the couple wants to make it work...honesty, trust, and perseverance are just some of the impt. factors

5. can u luv a person who doesnt love u?
maybe...

6. do actions speak louder than words?
yeah..but action with words is the best!

7. have you felt/found true love?With
whom?
still on the process and i have yet to prove it..

8. how can you say that a person loves
you?
woman instinct

9. are you good in handling
relationships?
it takes two to tango..

10. willing to give everything?
i have to left some for myself

11. best thing you've learned from loving?
Love itself...and how it all includes everything..like
respect, trust, loyalty, acceptance...

12. do you demand your loved one to
change?
no, i love him just as he is..

13. would you let go of someone you
love?
if he wants to be free..then i will..but i wont stop
loving him..

14. is sex important in a relationship?
sort of...it adds spice to the relationship

15. how do you express your love to
someone?
through words and actions..

16. what is the major reason for a break
up?
there are lot of factors to consider so there is no one thing in particular

17. most important ingredient in a
relationship?
Trust...

18. one thing you hate about love?
it makes u do crazy things u've never ever done b4

19. one thing you like about love?
the perpetual bliss it gives

20. worst thing u did to a loved one?
none...as of now..hehehe

21. are you inlove?.
going there..

22. with whom?
:)

23. do u have a bf/gf?
still in the process

24.why or why not?

25. are you a hopeless romantic?
used to be

26. do you get tired of loving?
i will never be

AM I OVER YOU?! AM GETTIN THERE.. Message:
Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
obkors

Describe yourself in one word when it
comes to love?
passionate

Who would you pick, someone who
really loves you or the one you really
love?
someone who really loves me

Have you ever loved someone BEFORE
but never had the courage to tell
him/her?
yes....lot of times

Does it feel good to love?
very

What will you say to someone who
doesn't want
to believe you love him/her?
whatever!!

Which one hurts the most, he/she left you
or played with you?
being played

Was there ever a time that you tried to
learn to love someone?
nope

What's yOur opinion about someone
who's jealous?
absolutely normal.. a person who's madly
in love

What can you say about someone who
tries to resist love?
coward

What can you say about playboy and
playgirl?
karma

What can you say about those who hurt
you?
revenge is sweet

What can you say to the person who loves
you
now?
thank you and i'll always love u

How do you love?
i love deeply!! no doubt about that.

Are you fast on having a crush on
someone?
yes and am also that fast to get over a
crush

Are you the jealous type?
not that much

2006-01-19T12:53:00.000+08:00

Patching things and decision-making...

Sooo...this is my first official entry for 2006...i'm such a lousy blogger coz i don't upadate my blog regularly coz i'm so pre-occupied with so many things.

I'm so sleepy right now and to think its still so early, its maybe due to the vitamins that i took this morning..so im having coffee at 10:00, talk about being a caffeine-dependent.. and to top it all the internet connection sucks..My what a nice way to begin my day with...

This year started well for me coz i have patched some misunderstandings with some of my relatives and we are in a much better situation right now...and guess what we had a manito-manita last christmas and of all people, my manita was my cousin whom i have hated for quite a long, long while..i guess it was all God's plan so that we can forget all the hurts and pains we had inflicted towards each other..Btw, i gave her a lampshade with an alarm clock and the word that was written was love and there was a heart above it...it's sooo cute and i love it. I receive also a purple pillow from my manito...i luv the color soo much and its so comfy and very huggable..

And on the other hand, last night we had a choir practice but still i wasn't able to attend our practice coz i have my tutor and I haven't attended even just once since this year began. I need to follow-up my student since she has a 3 failing grades and she needs to pass this so that she will not retain in first year...I am really praying that she will pass this grading, i am keeping my fingers crossed.. And because of this i am confused whether i will still continue in the choir or temporarily stop coz i can't attend the practices. I am very much confused as of the moment and i know i had to make my decision soon. I know God will help me and he will always be there for me whatever decision i make. I know i can still serve the Lord in many other ways...

2005-12-08T13:37:00.000+08:00

party here and there...

haay!!! finally i was able to change my template though there are still some
minor glitches...hahay i am so illiterate bout these html codes and all those
stuffs..

This month is really a bz month for me coz we have a choir practice 3x a week and if i am free i have my tutorials, good thing the parents of the kid that i am tutoring is not that strict and very particular at all or else i was fired already...thank God! they understand my schedule..

Last Sunday also we went to Pooc, Talisay in tyo Arthur's house coz it was Vanessa's 3rd b-day and we had a great get together there with my mom's side. Absolutely fun. The location was nice, far from the city and at night u can see the city lights, such a wonderful site to behold.

Last night also we attended Lolo Totot's 86th b-day party....Yummy foods catered by red carpet and there were lots of visitor's from relatives to politicians coz as u see his daughter is a congresswoman who happens to be my father's 2nd degree cuzn...Absent nasad ko sa akong tutorial session gahapon...:( And btw, lunch was happy's b-day celebration...grabe akong kaon aning adlawa, gluttony jud!

On the other hand, i feel im getting fatter everyday....huhhuhu...i hate it but i can't control coz most of the time there's party here and there and who wouldn't be tempted not to eat those yummy foods...hahay...i promise to lose weight nxt year by playing badminton again and adapting a healthy and active lifestyle.

2005-09-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

this is life...

I'm having my coffee as of the moment..im so bored and i can't play literati for some obvious reasons..

Last night we had a choir practice for the songs we will be singing this sunday coz it will only be us, the new music ministry members the old member will be there though but they will only back up us..I know we can do it just like during the prayer meeting..it went well..Thank God...and im optimistic that this sunday we will be doing good also, nice ra ba among songs specially sa communion which is "You Are Near" by Australia Hillsongs. Tonight we will be having another practice also but it will be another set of songs which is for christmas, we started practicing early coz these are difficult ones with lots of voicing...And by friday we will be having a workshop or a film showing rather...I really have a hectic schedule...may gani na timing na akong tutoranan kay wa cla tarong na class last week and this week...gituyo jud ni ni Jesus og plan..hehehe...Also twinkle has already adjusted to my unpredictable schedule although I spend lesser time with her na these past few weeks..but my baby girl understands coz she always waits for me patiently. Last Saturday I spent it bonding with my nephews coz they were there for a visit...makalingaw na kau and Fitz is soo talkative as in opposite personalities cla ni Owen..english pakang na sad c Owen using such expression no..no..no..no if he doesnt want/like then always asking me if it is bad smell or good smell and he knows how to read already although there are some unfamiliar words that he doesnt know but he is attentive when u teach him on what is it...I'm so happy for my nephew. On the other hand Fitz is a naughty kind of kid, cute nga naughty...and he loves to sing! While riding in the tricycle he was singing "wag dyan may kiliti ako dyan" ...hehehe...cutie cutie boy...My mama was so happy and very proud with her apo's and even twinkle likes them...he loves to be cuddled by the 2 boys, Fitz even kisses her.....While writing this im now missing them both!!

2005-09-21T20:16:00.000+08:00

In the stillness of the night: Yesterday was my younger sisters birthday (sisters kay twins man) and we had a small gathering at home with only the closest friends of ours but we will be having another one this Saturday as a joint celebration for Mama and the Twins b-day and my bro and his family will be there and also my aunties on my mama's side.. as u see im much closer to my relatives from my mother's side than my father's side eventhough i live close to them...It's just that its different, we dont get along well and conflicts arises, jealousy, gossips, and everything...I hate it soo much!!!! so better distance nalang mi nila...well enough of them.. Last night also we had a choir practice for the praise and worship song that will be used in tonights prayer meeting coz we will be the one who will be singing..only us the new members of the music ministry....Toinkssss.... (gi-ubo ra ba ko). Ok ra, as long as it is all for the glory of God....I know He will never leave me whenever I needed His strength...

When i went home last night,Twinkle was still waiting for me (naghuwat sa la-ag?) for her nightly ritual to take a pee and poopoo...hehehhe...so we went outside and since it was late already it was so quite and then when i look up, the moon was shining so brightly against the dark sky and the clouds were moving...it was only then that i have taken the time to appreciate and was awed by the beauty of God's creation for quite a long time i took it for granted never bothering to appreciate its existence....I felt so happy and serene and most of all peacefull deep within me..

2005-09-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

Random Thoughts....: Im here in the office right now and im quite bored. Actually something is really bothering me as of the moment...Last Saturday and Sunday I attended the LLS conducted by our community..it was a live-in seminar and the speakers were very good. All through out the topic was about forgiveness...huhuhu...gituyo sad cguro to sa panahon para ma enlighten ko and to ease these burden that i've been carrying for quite a long while but right now i'm still having 2nd thoughts in asking forgiveness, ngano ako man mo ask na cla man naay sala nako, maynta cla nalang mo-ask kay willing nako moforgive....hehehehe...para dli nasad lisod sa akong part kay im still having difficulty in swallowing my pride...:D...But at least I made a promise to myself that I 'll start being good na...im now avoiding gossiping wid my neighbors and working on having on having a harmonious relationship with my sister w/c i really hated kay hilas na kau na cya ron, at least sometimes maka-control ko sa akong temper...Thank GOD....;)

2005-08-24T09:57:00.003+08:00

bugging me again....

Last night Lola was bitten by twinkle again, its the third time na. I don't know why sometimes she doesn't like lola basin nabunalan cguro na cya b4 but if c mama ang mobunal sa iyaha kay modu-ol man ghapon cya after...sometimes im confused sa behavior ni twinkle...santolon nga doogie..hehehe...She is very malambing to us but to other people that she doesn't like grabeh maldita jud kau..And so last night Daddy said that I have to decide whether I have to give twinkle to my uncle or not..I can't decide on this its so tough and my mom and sister don't want to give up twinkle, so thats 3 against 1...You see we have encountered lots of problems with twinkle because of her behavior and my dad told me that we have to give twinkle to my uncle to avoid any other case of her biting again...pero dli ko mahimo ana...bahala na i wont give up twinkle, the final decision is still with me...Twinkle is very playful but also possessive of me and my dad says that is because she belongs to the family of huskies who are descendants daw of wolf and coyotes (don't know much about them) and they only obey their master...basta lahi daw na cla sa uban na dogs...but i dont care, bahala na im gonna keep her jud. I just pray na there will be no more untoward incidents that will happen again, we will have to make extra precautions now.

2005-08-10T13:51:00.000+08:00

the reason

Been out of the blogging world for quite a while...and haven't updated my blog for so long already and the same goes also with the diary that i keep at home (the old fashion one but can't live without it). I have been very bz the past few month and a lot of new things has happened.

Last night i was able to get my first pay for my tutorial sessions..haayyyy..the reward of hard work..hehhe..I thought at first that home tutorial is just an easy task but heck no..i have to study all over again and review so that i will have an idea on the topic..much worst naa pa dyud math na i'm really bad at this subject eversince elementary days pa, whenever i have a line of 7, the culprit is always MATH..arrr..I'm never really good with numbers..though in college i was able to pass it but i have to double my effort and work my ass through all those problem solving but it paid naman, got a very good grade in Trigo (something that im really proud of). Math for me is more tolerable than Physics..bastanaa lagi numbers allergic jud ko ana that's why i refrain taking up courses that has something to do with numbers...hehehe

It's been a month already that i have joined a choir in our church. Yes, its right...choir...hehehe..I never really expect to land on these but maybe this is one of God's calling to me, something that He wants me to do for Him.I wanted to serve in our local church but not in the choir, though i really love to sing I'm not gifted with good voice to boast of pero i believe there was a divine intervention. And now i am so happy with the turn of events, it open new doors for me which i never expected to come my way...God is good all the time.

2005-06-20T14:55:00.000+08:00

...puppy love

I've never written anything about the love of my life in this blog before but now i am introducin her to all of u (dli ko tomboy ha..hehehhe). It's my fur baby...and nobody else but my cutie patootie Twinkle.

Actually she is my first ever dog that i have and I am so thankful that she came into my life. She had showed to me the wonders of having a pet, and much more i learned to appreciate them even more unlike b4 when i am so insensitive about them. I have read in an article b4 that a dog is always there for u even if everyone else abandons you. "That’s just the way they are: They don’t talk back or badmouth you, they don’t bear grudges when you ignore or hurt them,
they just remain so loyal that you sometimes feel you haven’t earned it."

She was given by my sister's friend and at those times i was somewhat thrilled of having a puppy at home, having someone to cuddle when im bored or alone and at the same time also hesitant of the responsibilities of raising a dog (u know all those stuffs about rabies, etc.) But then i was still happy with my decision and could have never been happier with it despite all the trials me and twinkle have encountered. It's just the way life is, we can't please everyone as much as we tried to avoid any thing that might offend them but there are some really cold-hearted and narrow-minded people that exists in these planet but despite all the things and the troubles i have with them because of my dog im still firm with my decision on not giving up twinkle...I love her so much...i can't imagine life without her. But just don't try messing with my dog or else i'll forget the bloodline that connects us...

For my twinkle baby, i know you'll never had the oppurtunity to read this but still i wanna say this.."I love u so much"....nobody can ever hurt u as long as i am here. You may never just see it but everytime somebody hurts u, the pain im feeling is doubled as to the pain that u felt. For all the troubles and the mischieviousness u've given me you will always be my ever loving twinkle with those big, bright pleading eyes that keeps on staring me, the one who always looks at the gate anticipating for my arrival, my constant companion late at nights when everyone else is sleeping. Words are not enough to thank u for sticking it up with me although i am impatient with u sometimes...hhehehe

2005-06-01T16:11:00.000+08:00

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

*A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.*
This really describes me....i love to learn a lot of new things everyday and i want to study still even if im already done with school...I like to conceptualize things and have lots of ideas in my mind but too damn lazy to apply all those things...hehehe!

2005-04-25T13:55:00.000+08:00

beachin' and bummin' around at el salvador

We went to El Salvador beach resort last saturday..and boy we really had a blast there! I'm with Riza, Ronnah and my younger sis...it was sooo much fun..a nice summer getaway.The room is nice and so is the pool with jacuzzi..Right now im still very sleepy here at work...

As of the moment i'm hooked on Memories of Bali and most of all Stained Glass...these are the reasons why I can't sleep early and always end up waking up late and most of all my dog is already drprived of our nightly walks although not really totally, its just that we only go out to do her nightly regimen...to poo and pee...hehehe...no more strolling around the streets...

2005-03-17T11:44:00.000+08:00

my nephew....

I went to the hospital last night to visit my nephew who has dengue and oh he's such a pity to look at, the more if the medtech is coming and he sees the tray, he cries and throws tantrums coz he know that it's blood sucking time again, we need to hold his hands and feet so that he will not move when drawing blood..poor, poor baby. He's such a pity to look at during those times but he's recovering quite well....This morning i went there again b4 going to work and guess who i saw? my kabarkada! She's the intern doctor handling my nephew...what a coincidence! Well...as usual chika-chika trying to catch up with each others lives but not for soo long coz she still need to do the rounds...

That encounter made me ponder.....lots of ifs: if only i had proceeded medicine i would have been an intern also right now...*huhuhu*...I txted Juvy and we shared the same sentiments and regreted why we didnt push through but maybe it's just wasn't the right vocation for us maybe God has other plans and a much better one...

2005-03-16T10:58:00.000+08:00

Points of View and My Bestest Bestfriend

I have to post this song coz it always remind me of someone who's a big part of my life. Whenever i hear that song Michelle always comes to my mind...She's my bestest bestfriend. We've known each other for such a long time...childhood days and teenage years wouldn't be as much fun as it was without her coz she's the daring one and im the shy girl...though we always quarrel a lot over petty things when we were still kids but still we always end up with each other, through the years we have outgrown that which just proves that we matured bsan bata-bataon ghapon kau ta. *hehehhe*..And now that we are both grown up and been very bz with our respective lives we still manage to catch up with each other.

Chelle, thank u for everything...I couldnt ask for a much better friend anymore..I know i can always count on u no matter what happens...If i had to live my life all over again i would still look for u to be my bestfriend...You're the only person who knows me inside out, the only one who understands me whenever i have my tantrums but still ur there for me even with those imperfections...and thank u soo much for always standing by my side whenever someone hurts me, u know that i would do the same for u but i guess u don't need that coz u've always been a fighter all throughout which is one thing i really admire u of....So, aim high and never give up on ur dreams coz that might be the start of the fulfillment of the gazillions of plan that we had made and most of all stand for what u believe in... :D:D
So here's our friendship song:

"POINTS OF VIEW"
By: Pops Fernandez & Joey Albert

Look, it's happened once again
It happens every now and then
Feeling the hurt and hating all the men
Ready to stop it all

That's when I need a friendly face
To see me through these lonely days
Just to put some sunshine in my place
Don't take too long I need you

Refrain:
Here I am
I haven't gone that far away
And since I am
That kind of friend you know
Would stay with you through all the pain
Never to leave you in the rain
Ready to listen to what you've been through
You woes and blues and share each other's

Chorus:
Points of view
We've been there once before
And kept our points of view
It doesn't really matter if they're never quite the same
We have our rules in different ways
We play the games of different folks
with different strokes
And keep our points of view

See the world seems bright again
It only darkens now and then
Most of the time there's just no telling when
Look up and see you've got me

Refrain:
Here we are
We may have gone our different ways
But since we are
The kind of friends who'll always stay
No matter what the pain
Learning to love that cap o rain
Ready to say we're here to stay in every way
Although we've got our different...

Repeat Chorus: (2x)

2005-03-04T10:15:00.000+08:00

It's Friday Gold Rush

Thank God Its Friday!!!!! ooohhhh..how i love fridays, it's my favorite day of the week coz the next day it's no work, no school so definitely its hassle free...no waking up early in the morning..yipeee...hehehe..but to top it all its Y101's friday gold rush..I love all the songs that they will play coz its the best of the 70's, 80's and 90's. I love music sooo much, can't live without em. It's so good to reminisce...ahhh...very relaxing.

Here's the lyrics of the song that i've been looking for quite so long..thnx to sam i was able to track this saon kapanahunan man ni niya...:p

Carly Simon - All I Want is You

What do the neighbours say
When they hear us scream at night
Do they talk about a love
All in tatters
What do the neighbours know
About the heart and soul
The fire down below
That really matters
They can never guess
In the silences
That all I want is you
And the sexy hurricane
We got here
All I want is you
I don�t want a man
To say "good morning dear"
Let �em listen at the door
Let �em listen through the floor
Let �em go ahead and draw the wrong conclusion
So chase me �round the room
Make me crazy like the moon
They can never guess
In the silences
That all I want is you
And the sexy hurricane that we share
All I want is you
I don�t want a man
Who tiptoes up the stairs
All I want is you
And the freight train
Whistling over my track
All I want is you
And your mack truck loving
Jumping me jack!
Oh, jack!

I wish they will also play my fave songs today...here's my wishlist for today
*You Are The One by Chris Cuevas
*If You've Ever Been In Love by Intrigue
*Waiting For A Star to Fall by Boy Meets Girl
*Freedom (4got the artist)
*Get Down On It
*songs from Wham, Fra Lippo Lippi, Shanice, and may more...I could go on and on

I wish i'm a dj for a day so that i can play all the songs that i love....wohhhooo...to Y101 keep it up! I love ur music...Here's the link to their site http://www.y101fm.com/.....check this out, u can send ur request too and listen to them online...Its cebu's best station definitely (i think i must be paid for this) :D:D

2005-01-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

It's Silver....Silver Bells!!!!!!

So im finally 25......eeeooowww!!!!

This year I took note of all the people who greeted me be it thru txt or personal and it really feels so great to know that these people remembers the special day of ur life...I should have done this a long time ago so that i have a track of all those people who never 4gets my b-day...lol...its just that im so elated to knoew that im loved...not by all though...hehehehe...

Well, since my b-day is thursday, obviously its a work day and to top it all i have a class that day...whew...but it was still a good one...Just brought food to the office for my officemates coz i love them all...hahahahha....well, it was really fun...i love the atmosphere here, no personal competition and everyone is in good terms with another compared to other office situations where there is jealousy and all that bullshit (ooopppsss...excuse me for my language)...but thats the truth...enough bout those rantings basta whats important is we had a full tummy, that's the only thing that can make our day complete..kami pa...lolz

And also I receive a custom made card from them...touch ko ani sad dah kay wa ko ga-expect...wehhhehe...it's such a wonderful feeling reading all those birthday greetings and all the well-wishes, it might just be a simple gesture but it really matters to me and besides it's the thought that counts ..Thank you guys for that i really appreciate it..

just see how happy i am

And of course the day wont end without our photo op...as usual what do u expect if theirs a camera? syempre..picture!picture...hehehe...so here we are camera whoring again kay mga frustated model man mi...hahahahha...

Official 25th b-day portraits...

On the other hand, last night also was the last day of the korean telenovela Lover's in Paris...i like this coz the story is not dragging as what most telenovelas is but most of all im drooling over Lee Dong Gun a.k.a Martin, he is so gorgeous as in ruggedly handsome in his role there..

though i like the role of Carlo but i prefer Martin over him...hahahahha..But neway,the story was good, hilarious, and nakakikilig specially last night when the song "You Are The One" by Serendipity was played when all those sweet moments of Carlo and Vivian was shown...hayyy..maka-inlove! I love this song tooo...Watching these series makes me dreamy eyed and wander if this could happen in real life..it does maybe but chances are very slim..I hope it does to me...i'd love to be swept off by my feet someday..by the right guy, i hope.He doesn't have to be as rich as Carlo's character is but if he is, then why not? hahahaha! it's a bonus factor, whats important is that he must love me and do everything 4 me..hehehehe..I wonder when that time would come?haayyy...This songs for me..

"You Are the One"
Another day passes by and I'm dreaming of you
And though I know it might be just a dream, dreams do come true
Somewhere, somehow I'll find you
Even though it takes all of my life (All of my life, yeah)
And when I'll finally do (And when I'll finally do)
I know inside my heart (I know inside my heart)
That there could be no doubt, I knew it from the start

Chorus:
(You are the one) You are the one
That I've been searching for my whole life through
(You are the one) You are the one
That I've been looking for and now that I found you
I'll never let you go, I'll hold you in my arms
Cause you are the one

Yeah...

Another night spent alone I'm lying in the dark (Lying in the dark)
Don't know your name but I know that voice sings to my heart
A sweet melody, A symphony of love
I know that come one day (I know that come one day)
A time for you and me (A time for you and me)
To finally meet together, Coz I know we're meant to be

(CHORUS)

2005-01-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

Hello & Adieu..........

I'm now officially joining the blogworld after a quite long time of deciding whether i should have one or just stick to my old manual journal, but hey it doesn't mean that im completely abandoning my old, reliable journal....its just that sometimes i'm just damn too tired to think and write at all...*wink*

Today is my last day of being 24 and im savoring every moment of it...so goodbye 24 hello 25...hehehhe...a year older again but i dont think i act accdg. to my age...hahahahha...coz i feel i am still so immature and still the old fickle-minded lady..lolz....hmmm...i'd better make these year be good to me coz i have a lots of promises to fulfill these year...

To recap here's some pics:

melody, riza, and me celebrating Riza's b-day at Jo's Chicken Inato

Power of 4....melody, riza, happy, and me (seated)